Once you reach a certain point in life, a stark realization enters your awareness just as Sisyphus was cursed to push the rock ad infinitum, so are we when it comes to maintaining our health, our success, and our relationships. The last, I assume, holds the most weight, since interpersonal communication can easily degrade, passion can go stale in a matter of months, and inertia can slowly run a partnership to the ground. This short article might just as well be an antidote a guide on how to improve your relationship.
When it comes down to areas where we measure success on the long run, habits are usually the only mechanism thought which things either improve or degrade. So lets go over a couple of things that might enrich, and ultimately improve your relationship.
Things do pay attention to as a couple in order to improve your relationship
While some of the problems can be fixed on an individual level (as we shell discuss below), many patters of behavior can be addressed at the level of a couple. Here are some ideas for making effective changes in both habits and mindset.
Dont be full of expectations
No matter how good your
relationship is, you will never be grateful enough if you habitually form high
expectations. To accept the world for what it is can be a sign of maturity.
Young people nowadays are
often told not to settle so the formula for happiness is laid down wrong at
the very gate to adulthood. To form high expectations, and demand from others
radical change is a typical sign of immaturity. Relationships, believe it or
not, require a healthy degree of acceptance.
Tell each other exactly what you want of your relationship
While this advice runs in opposition to the one above, it is still framed appropriately in order to support a mature relationship. Suppose that you are unsatisfied with your significant other, and you demand change. More often than not, this change is not specified, and the request is therefore vague.
Counter this with surgical preciseness whenever you are stating your requests. Here is how it goes and how it helps you to improve your relationship.
Clinical psychologist and internet sensation Professor Jordan Peterson unpacks this wisdom during one of his earlier lectures. He says, and I am paraphrasing loosely here, that we must be specific with every request towards a partner.
Suppose you arrive home, and your girlfriend is not excited enough to come and say hello. If you need that in your life, and you are the type of person who complains, it is very likely that you will demand from her more attention, more aliveness, enthusiasm for the relationship
But as you might notice, these requests are vague. Instead, you want to be specific. You can say I am the type of person who is insecure and cannot be happy unless you come at the doorstep and hug me whenever I come back from work. Now this requires a fair degree of self-awareness, and Professor Peterson is obviously saying this in jest, but being specific gives your partner an opportunity to actually change their behavior.
But you have to be specific,
and the request has to be in the realm of what your partner can realistically
change about his or her behavior. Asking for more than what your partner is
willing to offer is a recipe for disaster, and another form of high
Exercise together at least once a week
Women, it seems, show greater affection towards their husbands if they engage in physical activity as a couple.
One study published in Health Psychology says that wives in ET (exercising together) group showed significant increases in engagement in affectionate behaviors compared to wives in UC (usual care) control group. The study examined couples who coped with prostate cancer, but the findings are interesting enough as a support for a more broader hypothesis.
There are numerous ways to go
about your exercise, and running might be the easiest one. You can also start a
workout program like Beachbody on Demand at home, and sweat together in your living room.
Consume entertainment together
Movies bring about an
avalanche of hypothetical situations about which you can discuss with your
partner. In this sense, they offer novelty, entertainment, and opportunity to
associate comfort time with your significant other. You can listen to music,
watch documentaries, or anything else that moves you and entertains you.
Nurture your intimacy to improve your relationship
Make it a habit to be
intimate. There is rarely an example where the catch 22 loop applies so
perfectly. You have to dance Tango in order to enjoy it, but you also have to
enjoy Tango in order to start dancing. Kick start the cycle, will ya!
You can also say nice things
to your partner, thus showing your affection and positive feelings towards one
another. There are many examples of sweet things to do for your girlfriend and the only thing you have to practice is being
comfortable enough to utter one phrase at a time.
Set a date night
This may sound trivial, but
look back at the past year how many times did you get out as a couple,
dedicated only to one another for the night? If you are skeptical, just make
the damn arithmetic say you get out on a date once a month. Thats 12 times
every year. Now there is a number you can work with is it low, high, or just
Things to do by yourself in order to improve your relationship
Remember, a good relationship
requires two whole individuals. If you are not content with yourself, the
chances are very high that you will not appreciate your partner. It takes
self-love before you can love someone else, right?
Enrich your social life outside of your relationship
This may sound
counter-intuitive. When partners diagnose a problem in their relationship, the
attention is always turned inwards. But two whole persons make up for a better
relationship, and our social circle plays a huge role in regards to our overall
fulfillment in life. Besides, it is always great to bring a fresh perspective.
With meditation you become more
aware of your emotions, and therefore start to communicate better with your
significant other. All it takes is 10 to 15 minutes every day and you will see
Treat yourself better
Our most difficult problems
often have trivial enough roots like hunger, or lack of sleep. It is quite
insulting to tell this to a person, but once biological needs suppress rational
thinking, it is easy to miss the causal relationship. It is no wonder that
problems tend to lose their urgency once we take a good nap.
Stop analyzing every little thing
Our psychological problems are
often problems of living. So stop analyzing and start to lift yourself up one
good habit at a time. Emotional turbulence can cloud our judgment, and we can
easily become ignorant of the obvious. Analyzing wont help as the emotional
mind is easy to trick and self-deceive. Start changing your habits one by one.
The list above is fairly generous!
Adopt a hobby
If your relationship is under the spotlight for longer than necessary, you might start to see problems where there are none. Instead, find something else that you can do. Get yourself a hobby, and spend your time elsewhere. The head is a terrible place to be stuck into for long periods of time. Sometimes, the best way to improve your relationship is not to work on your relationship at all!
Work out to improve your relationship
Self-confidence is an
important factor in any relationship as most problems have roots in our own
personal insecurity. Working out, believe it or not, can greatly affect your
positive self-image, and in a sense reduce some of your obsessive, possessive
and insecure reflexes.
Conclusion how to improve your relationship
As you can see, there is plenty of opportunity to improve your relationship and actually move things the other way around. You just have to be persistent and become content with progress over the long run. Here is a brief recap of things that you can do as a couple in order to improve your relationship:
- Dont form high expectations
- Be specific with every request fro your partner
- Exercise together at least once a week
- Nurture your intimacy
- Set a date night
- Consume entertainment together
Things you can do by yourself:
- Enrich your social life
- Work out
- Adopt a hobby
- Stop over-analyzing
- Treat yourself better
Relationships move slowly one way or the other, so just like Sisyphus, you might have to push for quite a while before reaching the top of the hypothetical mountain. But sometimes, the climb upwards is more rewarding than the summit itself.
Have you tried this NEW workout plan that everyone is talking about?
Making the Most of Apple Fitness+
An email from Life Time hit my inbox a few days ago with a subject line that immediately caught my attention: “Action Required! Renew your Apple Fitness+ promo code to continue your complimentary subscription.”
For the past four months, Apple Fitness+ has been an integral part of my health and wellness routine. It’s been an unexpected yet awesome addition to the many offerings in the Life Time Digital app experience. As a Life Time team member, I’ve had a front-row seat to all the available features in Life Times digital app — training programs, educational content, and live-streaming classes, in addition to Apple Fitness+ — and letting the latter lapse wasn’t an option for me.
You see, I’ve been a hybrid workout routine since earlier this year, following Coach Anika’s “Leaner and Stronger” program in the app, and then supplementing the strength sessions — and often replacing the low-impact/recovery days altogether — with offerings from Apple Fitness+.
I’ve grown accustomed to taking walks with the likes of Anderson Cooper, Misty Copeland, and Jane Fonda, thanks to the “Time to Walk” feature. I like the convenience of quick-hit HIIT finishers with Bakari and treadmill workouts with Scott and Sam — or going to my yoga mat and finding my breath (and moments of peace) with Jonelle and Jessica.
These workouts, whether 10 minutes or 45, have helped keep me accountable, while also inspiring me to try new things and add a little more variety to my routine. These are a few of the reasons I’m not ready to let it lapse:
1. The wide range of options. With more than 10 categories of workout types — and new classes being offered every week in each one — there’s a ton of high-quality content to choose from. I’ve done 30-minute treadmill workouts that have left me breathless, 20-minute HIIT sessions that have made me burn, and 10-minute Mindful Cooldowns that are ideal for stretching after a long day of sitting or unwinding before bed. I’m not sure workout boredom is a possibility.
2. The array of top-notch instructors. I have yet to encounter an Apple Fitness+ trainer who hasn’t brought it all to their class. While not all of them are great fits for me, they are all knowledgeable, engaging, and energetic. They are diverse in their identities and abilities, and they are phenomenal at taking your mind off the work at hand — without compromising form or quality. The mindful strategies they use to encourage and motivate have helped me believe in myself and push through when I otherwise might have slowed down or stopped.
3. The music. Apple’s license to music of all sorts is unmatched. I’ve discovered some of the latest Latin hits, run to the top get-on-the-dance floor songs, and more. Plus, I can save the playlists in Apple Music, so I can listen again (and again) later on.
4. The integration with my Apple Watch. This might be my favorite feature: The connection between my iPhone, iPad, or Apple TV and Apple Watch so I can monitor my workout intensity is seamless. I love seeing my Activity rings close — and using the burn bar in the cardio workouts to gauge how my activity efforts stack up compared with others who’ve completed the workout.
5. The convenience factor. My iPhone is with me most of the time — and I wear my Apple Watch every day. So, the fact that I can do these workouts (along with others from Life Time in the app) anywhere helps me stay on track with my health and fitness, no matter where I am. On a recent weekend getaway with a couple of my girlfriends, for instance, we snuck in 20-minute bodyweight strength sessions each morning — a good sweat before a day of lounging poolside was just what we needed.
Apple Fitness+ also offers targeted workouts programs for beginners, older adults, and during pregnancy — I’ll be watching for future offerings that match my goals. So far, I’ve gotten a lot out of this feature and am excited to dip my toes into others as they become available.
For more about the Apple Fitness+ partnership with Life Time and how it’s included in membership, visit Lifetime.life/join/digital-membership.html.
Current Life Time members: To activate or renew your Apple Fitness+ access, download the Life Time Digital app and simply click on the Apple Fitness+ tile and follow the instructions.
Have you tried this NEW workout plan that everyone is talking about?
Exercising After a C-Section
After giving birth, many women wonder when they can get back to their exercise routine, but it can be particularly confusing for women who delivered via cesarean, or C-section.
“[A C-section] is a major abdominal surgery, and just like any other surgery, it takes time to heal,” says Blair Green, DPT, pelvic-health specialist and coauthor of Go Ahead, Stop and Pee: Running During Pregnancy and Postpartum. Typically, experts recommend waiting six weeks after surgery before restarting your exercise routine, but women who are recovering from a C-section may need to wait longer.
Not only does the incision itself need to heal before you can start exercising, but the core muscles — which are active in every movement we make — have to be retrained.
“If we cut through [our core muscles], they’re essentially ‘injured,’ and even though the injury was a surgery, they still need time to heal and retrain themselves,” Green says.
Here are some tips on when — and how — to exercise after a C-section.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER SURGERY
- Protect your incision
“Initially, you want to protect your incision,” says Jennifer Joslyn, DPT, a physical therapist at Motion Minnesota who specializes in pelvic health. This means avoiding movements that could irritate the incision, like excessive twisting, bending, and lifting heavy objects. Ideally, you’ll avoid these types of movements for the first few weeks following surgery.
“Most women don’t feel well enough to even do much more than just household walking distances and taking care of the baby until about three weeks out,” says Elizabeth Chumanov, DPT, PhD, co-coordinator of the Active Moms Clinic at the University of Wisconsin–Madison Sports Rehabilitation Clinic.
- Practice diaphragmatic breathing
While you may not be able — or necessarily want — to exercise while you recover, there are small things you can do during those six weeks to help you begin restoring core strength and function. “One thing I always recommend is deep diaphragmatic breathing,” Green says.
Your diaphragm is a dome-shaped sheet of muscle that separates your chest and abdominal cavities, and acts as the primary muscle of respiration. It actually works with your abdominal and pelvic-floor muscles — a group of muscles on the bottom of your pelvis that support your pelvic organs and help with posture. This means that simply activating the diaphragm can help restore the function of your entire core.
But also that deep breathing helps you heal, because it transports blood and oxygen to your tissues,” Green says.
To do it, lie on your back, place both hands on your rib cage, and take 10 to 20 deep breaths. As you inhale, you should feel air coming into your ribs and abdomen. “And then, when you breathe out, you should feel your ribs funneling down and in, and your abdomen should drop,” Green says.
In an ideal world, you would practice deep breathing three or four times a day. That said, many new moms are simply trying to adjust to their new routine, and may struggle with adding anything else to their plate. So, Green recommends focusing on deep breathing for five minutes at the start and/or end of your day.
- Don’t overdo it
Light walking is OK, too, as long as there’s no pain, Green says. But if you were on bedrest for any length of your pregnancy, you’ll want to take greater care with starting any kind of activity — light walking included. “I know a couple of women who were on bedrest for six months of their pregnancy, and in those situations, I would not recommend waking up two weeks after you had a baby and going for a walk,” Green says.
AFTER YOUR SIX-WEEK CHECKUP
- Start with basic strength exercises
Once your OB/GYN has cleared you for exercise, typically six weeks after giving birth, you can start incorporating basic strength exercises like squats, lunges, bird-dogs, and planks. In the early stages of rebuilding your fitness, avoid high-intensity and high-impact activities like heavy strength training, running, bootcamp-style and metabolic-conditioning circuits, and plyometrics. You want to make sure your core and pelvic floor are healed and strong enough to handle those types of dynamic movements.
- Ease into running, plyometrics, and heavy weightlifting
If you’re a runner, Green recommends giving yourself eight to 12 weeks to recover and retrain your abdominal muscles, and starting with a run-walk program. You can also do low-impact cardio exercise like biking, rowing, or the elliptical to rebuild your fitness before you jump into running again. And if you do plyometrics or heavy weightlifting, wait three to six months, Green says.
- Pay attention to how you feel
When you do exercise, listen to what your body is telling you. If you experience pain, heaviness, or pressure in the pelvic floor, doming or coning in your abdomen, urine or stool leakage, or any pain or irritation in your C-section scar, this could be a sign that the exercise should be modified, Joslyn says.
If your abdomen pushes out during an exercise (referred to as “coning” or “doming”), for example, chances are your abdominal muscles aren’t strong enough yet to handle that exercise. Or, it may mean that you need to breathe or activate your core in a different way.
- Reactivate your core muscles
“When you’re pregnant, your body has to make room for your baby, and your tissues and muscles are stretching and expanding,” Joslyn says, “and so once you have your baby, initially it may be hard to find those core muscles again and activate them.”
To help women relearn how to activate their core, Joslyn recommends an exercise that targets your deep core muscle — the transverse abdominis. Here’s how to do the move:
- Lie on your back with your knees bent 90 degrees and feet flat on the ground.
- With your fingers, find your hips on both sides of the front of your pelvis. Then, move your fingers in 1 inch.
- Inhale, keeping your pelvic floor and abdominal muscles relaxed.
- Imagine there is a string in-between your hip bones. As you exhale, imagine that string pulling your hip bones together to engage your transverse abdominis.
Once you know how to reactivate your core muscles, you can better activate them during any other exercise.
- Try to be patient
Remember: Just because your doctor has cleared you for exercise doesn’t mean you’re mentally or physically ready, or that you can pick up where you left off before your pregnancy, experts say.
It’s important to adjust your exercises and timeline according to how you feel and steer clear of self-judgments that tell you that you “should” be healing or progressing differently. Some women feel great at their six-week OB/GYN appointment, whereas others feel weak and fatigued and may even be in pain.
“Everybody’s just a little bit different in terms of that [exercise] timeline,” Joslyn says.
Try not to rush into exercise, or chase the unrealistic goal of reaching your pre-baby shape as quickly as possible. Remember that your body went through a lot of changes during your pregnancy — and continues changing even after the baby is born. Rather than get hung up on ideas of reclaiming your pre-baby body or achieving an unrealistic post-baby body for you, practice the mindset of meeting your body exactly as it is each and every day.
“We need to respect the recovery time,” Green says, “and that often gets lost in the shuffle.”
Have you tried this NEW workout plan that everyone is talking about?
Stay Healthy And Active With These Fitness Tips
Overall fitness isn't just about cardio. Although cardio is a major component of weight loss and heart health, it is important to incorporate strength training into your fitness regimen. Strength training builds muscle mass and helps you burn more calories post-workout. Follow these strength-training tips to amp up your workout and get a complete workout.
Alternative sports can offer people good fitness options for people, alongside the more regular forms of exercise. Free-running is a sport that emphasizes full body fitness. Climbing, running, and general agility are main requirements to free-run as you run, climb, and jump across many obstacles. Not only are they fun, but they unleash your inner child's desire to run and jump over railings, off the beaten path of adulthood.
If you want to reach your goals in terms of fitness, then you need to work backwards. You should pick a date of completion for your fitness goals and work backwards, listing off all the short-term goals in between. This way you look at your fitness goals as deadlines.
The best way to get children interested in fitness is to be a good example and by being involved with them as much as possible. Try taking an exercise class, playing tennis or hitting a baseball together. Not only will you both benefit from the increased activity, but it's a great way to maintain a close relationship.
To help you include exercise into a tight schedule, you should walk whenever possible. That could mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator at the office or parking at the back of a large lot to give you a brisk brief walk to the store. When it comes to working out, every little bit counts.
Add resistance training to your exercise plan. Resistance training helps build muscle. The more muscle you have in your body, the more quickly and efficiently you can burn calories. Resistance bands or light weights are good options for working out at home. You can also use your own body weight to provide resistance. Exercises, such as push-ups and squats, make your muscles bear the weight of your body and that builds strength.
After every workout, one thing you may want to do is take protein. This can be either in the form of a protein shake, a protein bar, or basically any meat product. This allows for your muscles to recover faster from your workout and overall make your muscles grow larger.
Decide to walk for 45 minutes a day instead of 30. Walking for 45 minutes has been scientifically proven by Duke University to result in fat and weight loss. This can equal up to 30 pounds of weight loss per year for just an added 15 minutes a day. For maximum weight loss, try walking up a hill instead of down.
Obviously, there are many options when it comes to working strength moves into your fitness routine. Keep doing your cardio, but additionally, choose any number of the tips mentioned to keep your muscles strong and prevent injury. Not only will you increase your calorie burn, but you'll have awesome muscle definition to boot.